Let's toss the coin, shall we?

Every so often in our lives, we would come to a situation where we are required to make a choice before we are able to move further. Most of the times the choices we have to make mostly revolves around mundane things such as what colour shirt should we wear with that favourite pair of jeans, or do we choose to drag our laurels out of bed to go to that class or slip back under the covers because the rain had created an oh-so-comfy atmosphere that just begs you to continue sleeping. Small, innocuous choices in life that doesn't really leave that big of an impact in your life (unless you had chosen the wrong colour combination. Stripes and swirls in severe contrasting colours DO NOT match, so spare us the pain, quit trying @@")


However, how about decisions which affect the BIG issues? BIG issues here referring to major ones hokay, not those remeh-temeh ones such as "Adakah ia wajar untuk saya makan walaupun sebenarnya tak lapar, tapi pasal orang belanja so nak makan jugak wthimerepek" kind of issues. I mean those issues that could affect not only yourself but also to those around you.

Actually, lemme correct that, let's just deal with decisions which could affect those around you. Kalau nak buat semua, harusla sampai tahun depan tak settle-settle lagi =.="

Time and again, I find myself in the awkward situation where I am torn deciding between two (or more) options. Pilih option A, I sakit hati but Bedah (bukan nama sebenar) gumbira, while pilih option B, stake interest I selamat tapi Bedah pulak saket hati. Nak jaga hati/hak sendiri, orang kata self-centred tapi kalau asyik fikir orang lain, habis kepala kena pijak. Heck, bukan sekadar kepala, segalanya dipijaknya! *seethes in aggravation*

Hmm..I do believe this is turning into one of those RAGE posts. Dayum.

Needless to say I am up to my neck with trying to balance out considering other peoples' feelings while making sure I don't bend over backwards while doing it. As whiny as this is going to sound, I'm tired of it. Tired of being there for you when you don't even care. Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking you to thank me everytime I do you a favour, but have some common decency to at least realize what other people do for you. Don't ever take people for granted because seriously, your actions might just be the thing which will push other people away.

Oh and another thing, try to realize that people who can laugh and chill with you on the good days are not necessarily your real friends. I mean think about it, yes they're cool and they're fun to be with and all BUT, try to remember when things get rough and circumstances around you seem bleak, which of those people are there for you? And being there for you, I don't mean just being able to text you or call you through the phone. Heck, we have the local BeFrienders telephone helpline for those kind of things =_= The existence of such services proves that everyone has the ability to listen, from the cute guy you were making sheep eyes with in the library to the annoying git you had to share a table with in the mamak shop. The point I'm trying to point out here is that EVERYONE can listen, but can we say for sure that everyone has the ability (and patience) to stay and help? Haruslah tak kan? At the rough times baru most of us realize that those people whom you can laugh and gossip the day away are conveniently absent when you need them the most. Distance is not a defense, if they really care they can travel 73463264923865kms. And don't diss people just because you guys don't see eye to eye on certain issues. You both have valid points, not everything needs to be agreed upon. Learn to agree to disagree =\

Oh and one other thing and this goes to everyone (including myself ><"). Don't ask for advice if you're just only gonna reject it. Yes, there are some advices given that its stupid to follow, for example:

Girl A : Babe..I'm so depressed..I caught my boyfie cheating on me..AGAIN..what should I do..eventhough its the 287435734858 time he's done it, but I still love him...

Girl B : Don't give up, I'm sure he'll change one day...just hang in there kay...

POOOTTTTTTT WRONG ADVICE!! Those kind of advices are like the perfect recipe for a lifetime of heartache. Give your friend a chance, tell her to just ditch the ass.

Before anybody comes out in righteous anger, take awhile and ponder about this. Yea, it might sound extremely presumptious of me to support "meddling" in other people's lives BUT take into account that certain situations calls for intervention. Would you sit back and watch a beloved friend continue making choices which hurts her? Tak kan? =\

Tapiiiii...an advisor must be prepared to take on the burden of making sure that whatever advice you give do not completely influence the mind of the advisee (is there even such a word?). I know this doesnt make sense but i'll try to simplify it.

Advisor : Has the duty to point out the issues and (maybe, depending on situation) lay out the possible remedies which could be taken by the person in question. An advisor has to be neutral and objective. They cannot be swayed by prejudice as bias as this could affect in unrealistic or illogical advice. Plus an advisor has to be prepared to face the consequences if things go bad due to some of the advice given.

Advisee (the poor soul that has the problem) :
Has the obligation to listen (cause dia yang tanya opinion, kena dengar ar) and digest what is being said BUT he/she then has the sole responsibility to go back and decide on their own. They cannot, and I repeat CANNOT take the advice given just like that without ruminating on the pros and cons. This is because if they choose to act upon those advice and things go awry, they cannot blame the advisor. In the end, it was their choice to act upon the advice.


Its this kind of burden that makes me reluctant to give advice at times. Yea I know I have the "mak tiri" nickname with my housemates cause I like to nag and all, but whenever people come to me regarding serious issues, I have a serious problem whether to say anything at all. Dahla tengah sure tak sure samada its appropiate to intervene or not, then when you do say something but you see the advice masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri, I think I have valid cause to be annoyed. Then you realize that when these people come to you with their problems, they're not looking for solutions, they're just looking for a sympathetic ear. Sorry chicas, if you're looking for someone to layan you, go talk to someone, or better yet, get a plushie. They can give you the perfect blank stare as I would give if you come to me. Sekali dua boleh lah kot I layan, but selalu sangat dengar benda sama, even a monk could go mad @@"

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In the meantime, I shall go on yoga-ing and meditating to retain my chi(or sanity, for that matter =.=)

Auntie-nephew yoga moment. Take that Dr.Spock!

P.S: I still love you, walaupun you macam tak sedar or tak kesah.