Of finally being able to cry for you.

MoonGyu Daniel Jeong (정문규)

Studying science of public administration at Korea National Police University.

Born on June 12, 1990

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That's all that is left on your facebook page amidst the multitudes of goodbyes and teary messages left by friends you've made from all around the world.

What made you do it...?

I remember how you greeted us when we first arrived in Seoul. Both Julie and you were so worried that we will find you guys lacking, however you guys were the best caretaker/friends anybody could wish for.

Did the world treat you harshly...?

We were such a difficult lot, that I must admit, but eventhough you sighed whenever we pulled a "stunt", you were always there to watch our backs. Heck, you covered our asses more than once whenever we pissed off any of the facilitators. It must be a residual effect from all the police training you had to go through in the Police University. The instinct to take care what's put under your care, Daniel you certainly performed your duty to the utmost standard.

What were your last thoughts, I wonder...?

You seemed like such a nerd with your big glasses and tendency to blink innocently at whatever we say. I remember how Fuzail always got a kick from making you panic as you tend to drop anything you were holding and in one great instance, your eyes almost bugged out of its sockets cause of some statement he made. Blame it all on the clash of languages, things do get lost in translation. But that's the fun part no? =)

Would it have changed anything if you knew we cared...?

  

Considering your semi-timid nature, can you imagine how suprised we were when you suddenly appeared on stage and danced oh-so-awesomely to some K-Pop music. Complete with breakdancing moves and whatnot, dude you were the shit. We, the Malaysian delegates might be a bit biased in making this statement (as you were our caretaker and all) but to us, you were the best dancer among all. Daniel, you're the man ^_-

Won't you miss all of us now that you're gone? We definitely miss you.

 I remember complaining to you how hot Seoul was while sitting on the sidewalk as we waited for the bus that will take us to the airport to arrive. You just laughed and eased my childish whining by offering me a strawberry popsicle. Daniel, good friend, you really know the way into a disgruntled woman's heart =)

 I pray that you are happier now, wherever you are.

I never thought the last sight of you waving and yelling goodbye at me at the departure gate would be the last time I set my eyes on you. Literally. Good God Daniel, ....why?

I guess we will never know for sure what made you do it. I just pray that whatever it was that you were trying to escape from was worth it. May you find happiness in the afterlife as how you didn't feel happy here. T

Take care Daniel, you are definitely missed. 

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Jessup is over. Didn't manage to win any of the awards. This is in all likely be my last moot competition as by next year I would be busy with LLB. That is IF I get into the dratted programme. Do I even want to slave away doing something I'm not even sure I want to pursue, thats another issue I will need to think about.

Its only been a month into 2011 and so far, the year is starting off on a sucky note. Like a song that got ruined due to 1 sumbang beat. If this is the year of the Rabbit, I am seriously considering slaughtering said rabbit. 

Needless to say, I icky. I feel mad. I feel stressed. I feel inadequate. I feel like such a loser.

I feel...like such a failure.

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Abah, come home. Please.